After reading the book Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl, I've been thinking hard about the inherent prejudices against the sexy women who gush, squirt, dribble, or spray. While other women are joyfully getting their groove on any and everywhere, we are discriminated against in the arena of sexual possibility: we can't do it in cars, hotel rooms, beds, couches, sofas, our parents' guest bedroom, or anywhere else covered in fabric or where other people could see the proof of our "playing." *sob* It's a hard life.
So, if having sex for the rest of your life on cold, painful, hard tile floors is not appealing to you (me, either!), I have amassed some resources from internet research, sex toy websites, the wisdom of my girfriends, and years of experience. Here are a few trinkets that should do the trick:
1. The most obvious (and most unappealing) answer is to just have sex in places where it won't matter if you spray and where cleanup is easy. These include the outside (ick!), the shower (I hate standing up for sex!), or hardwood/tile/linoleum floors (ow!).
2. The next, but equally unappealing, suggestion is to change the sheets (and bedcover, and blanket, and pillows, and mattress cover, and mattress if you're like me...). Again, good sex deserves to be rewarded with good cuddling and sleep, not hopping your naked butt out of bed to do laundry!
3. Towels. Lots and lots of towels. Put them under your butt, and have more ready nearby so you can just change them out as you soak through. Of course, the downside is it's hard to aim for one tiny towel during a rompin' good time, it kills the mood to stop and change towels mid-scene, and you can still soak through to the bedding.
4. Aim for the man. Let's face it, I've never met or heard of a guy who was not absolutely thrilled with female orgasm. Most are willing to drink it; though some may balk at that, none mind getting it on their skin. It's easier to wash a man than a sheet.
5. Get creative with your mattresses. One idea is to put two made mattresses on your bed. After sex, throw the top one on the floor and sleep on the warm, dry one underneath. Another idea is to buy a plastic mattress cover. Or, if you don't like creaking your way through sex, buy an inflatable plastic bed that you can just hose off afterward.
6. Buy a commercially-made furniture protector for this very purpose. I found several sex toy stores that carry them. Holistic Wisdom has a waterproof throw for $85. Getinthemood.com sells disposable Luv Liners for $12.99 and washable Luv Linens for $36 (although I feel compelled to mention the site isn't very professionally done and has spelling and grammatical errors at a high school level). A Woman's Touch sells a Liberator's Shag/Satin Thro for $86. Have fun, wash, and reuse.
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